Wednesday, February 25, 2015


Sometimes I feel life is really unfair. My husband has been right all along. He said to me, "People will only cheer when you succeed. Nobody will sympathized you when you failed."

I felt it's true. 

Nobody actually pitied me when I had a miscarriage. Some even don't have a sense of being tactless to boast how they are giving birth in front of me. I'm not saying people should avoid bringing up baby topic in front of me but at least be a bit tactful la.... Some even complained how little sleep they have when they have babies. 

What about me???? I lost my baby.... I want to be sleepless and tend to my baby... I despise all these comments because they don't feel grateful that they are able to carry their baby full term. 

To shield myself from being green-eyed-monster, I had to psycho myself. I have to tell myself, "it's okay, sh*t happens, it will come eventually". Do they know how hard it is for me? 

No... They don't.

They do not know how it feels to lose a baby. They do not know how agonizing to see blood and uterine tissue flowing out like water tap... They do not know how empty it feels when the sac finally came out.... They do not know the true meaning of losing someone you wanted to love and care for. Some even looked at me like I'm the one who is causing it, including my own husband. 

Sigh. Deep inside, nobody understands me. Nobody.

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